Opinion by AbigailMcGuire

When I was 10, I would always tell people my dream was to go to a “good” college. Not just any school, but one with a name that carried prestige. Harvard, Yale, or some esteemed school in Ireland that I read about in a book—these were my goals. I thought that the bigger the name, the better the school, and that the people who went there were far above the ones here in Nebraska. 

But as I grew older, I realized that our lives are dictated by socioeconomic status in ways I hadn’t fully understood. Growing up is not easy, and it is time for us all to be honest about it. I now had to consider the paycheck-to-debt ratio, the cost of each school, whether or not I was good enough for a scholarship, and if I was competitive enough. All of these factors led to me watching my dreams slip through my fingers. 

Slowly but surely, my personal value reduced to three things: my GPA, my extracurricular success and my ACT score. This is what I have worked so hard for: a 5-page application that talks more about my parents’ information and my test scores than who I am as a person. To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement.

In the past few weeks, the trajectory of my life has become quite clear to me. It isn’t a struggle with my mortality, but the fact that my own free will is not free at all. As children, we enjoy a brief taste of freedom until we’re eight or nine years old. Then, we are expected to start showing success in some area, usually sports or academics (and if you’re good at math, consider it a golden ticket). By high school, we’re told to build a brand and market ourselves. This should be done through showing off our accolades: “I have a 4.1 GPA!”, “I made varsity as a freshman!”, “I got an internship!” Then it’s time to apply to college and you have to summarize yourself in under 600 words. 

We are living in an era where self-expression must fit into neat and socially acceptable boxes, and alternative movements are dismissed as cringe-worthy. The idea of wanting a life outside materialistic success is seen as a personal violation. The way that this is forced upon us is increasingly manipulative and cynical. 

As a woman, the pressure intensifies. If you do not pursue an “important” job, but still somehow balance marriage, kids, and community involvement, you’re viewed as a failure. The feminist mantra seems to be to “do it all”, or you yourself are nothing and you are letting down all the women who came before you. 

Here’s the thing: I love to work. Ask anyone, I will be in the journalism room every day before school, and during debate season, I stay up late researching, and I pick up extra shifts. Overall, I do my part to be a successful woman. So, this feminist mantra isn’t completely wrong. We should work for ourselves, we should try to reach our potential. But when is it enough? 

Will I be worthy enough when I get my degree, or when I get a big enough paycheck? Self-worth should come from within, yet women are constantly reminded that we need to improve ourselves to be “good enough.” 

This is a struggle I face, and I notice my fellow women struggling with it too. Call me cynical, but I blame this exhausting narrative of conditional self-worth narrative on capitalism and normativity.

Capitalism, in its creation and execution, commodifies women. We are seen as a source of profit, marketed as both workers and consumers. Just a few decades ago, my role as a woman was confined to the home, and my worth was based on how well I could support my husband and how many kids I could have. It is frustrating that my role as a woman is constantly dictated by a set of external values and what I can provide for others.

Capitalism concerning women is a unique beast—but it harms all people, not just women. Capitalism is so focused on work that jobs are glorified, and paychecks are the holy grail. But is the purpose of life to work, and to prove to others that you are a good worker? I don’t think so. The need for a job, especially a corporate job, causes people to abandon their passions. 

People waste their lives sitting at desks so that they can have a vacation-filled retirement. When I think about this, it’s quite sickening. I understand that it is important to have an income and to not be destitute, but this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t follow what makes us happy. Life is too short to constantly worry about the “what-ifs.”

We need to stop caring about what people think of us, whether this is teachers, friends, family or whomever—our lives are our lives. No one owns us, so don’t let them control us as if they do. When someone tells you that you should be a certain way, or think a certain thing, no matter what these things are, I urge all of you to discover your own path and belief system. Explore whatever paths of life that you want to so that you can discover more about yourself.

Let this be a reminder that there is more to life than a job, so take that chance, be a pioneer and follow your passion. Yes, our lives might be set along a certain track by the nature of the society we are in. But again, this doesn’t mean that they are completely decided.