allykmiecik

I have never seen either of the full movies of Willy Wonka or “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” all the way through. Why? Because of utter terror. The last time I tried to force myself through the full 1971 or 2005 movie, I was in full blown tears by the opening credits.

It takes a nice scenario of kids and candy and makes it twisted by throwing in rabid squirrels and Wonka’s minions who look like they got a bad spray tan. It’s like the world is begging for Ally Kmiecik to be forever in terror. I will never be able to eat a chocolate bar or piece of candy again without remembering my slightly traumatizing experience with the brief portion of the movies I did catch a glimpse at.

My family, friends, and peers have deemed me a “scaredy cat.” Even though the scariest Halloween costume I’ve ever worn was Winnie the Pooh three whole years in a row. (It was probably scarier that the costume fit me for three whole years).

We are approaching the one year mark of watching “The Birds” at Marian to celebrate Halloween, and I STILL make an “are there any crows in sight?” check before walking outside. Those things could attack at any given moment. I take pride in not having common phobias. Brussel sprouts? Delish, sign me up. Public speaking? A breeze. Denim on denim? Come at me. However, anything even slightly scary is definitely not up my scaredy cat ALLeY.

I’m not saying I hibernate all October, I just choose to celebrate this festive month in a less scary manner.

While all my friends are haunted housing and planning their scary costumes for October 31st, I prefer adding toppings to my caramel apples and painting pumpkins because carving pumpkins involves holding a sharp object, which can be scary within itself. I absolutely ADORE the fairy tale haunted house at Vala’s. I can make it though the baby one if I close my eyes the whole time and have people holding both hands.

My friends love making fun of me for my huge imagination, but I don’t see any problem with it. On the outside I may seem calm, but when it’s time to tuck myself into bed, I can promise you ALL my lights are on. I am thinking about how there are things more terrifying than Mr. Baker’s double multiples or the walk up sophomore lot.

I just can’t fathom the desire to pay big bucks to be petrified for months after a “fun night out” at a haunted house. I am in no way saying those who can brave the terrors of spooky situations are wrong, even though you seem a little BATTY to me. Major props to you. Leave the spooks at home for me, because this GHOUL just wants to have fun.