Opinion by LilyBiggs

When you step into Marian’s cafeteria during lunch, it’s not uncommon to see tables full of friends scrolling on their phones while being with each other. I’ve noticed that this seems to be a running theme throughout Gen Z. When a conversation grows stale or uncomfortable, people often resort to their phones to escape the situation.

This can be for a variety of reasons. I’ve most often heard of it being the result of how you were brought up. If your parents didn’t allow you to have phones at the dinner table or during family gatherings, then you’re less likely to be on it while around your friends and other acquaintances.

I completely understand the feeling of wanting to get away from a conversation, especially if it’s someone you’re trying to avoid. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how much you try to start up a conversation—some people just don’t click. Other times, everyone just might be tired and have a dead social battery. However, if you’re just using your phone as a get-out-of-jail-free card all of the time, it speaks about the person you are.

Of course, there are exceptions to this. If it’s an emergency or you are texting your parents, that is completely understandable. It also makes sense to be on your phone or iPad to finish up some homework that’s due next block.

However, people have different definitions of an “emergency”. It starts to cross a line when people have the urge to keep up snap streaks or scroll out of pure habit. I’ve also noticed an epidemic over the years of people texting their significant other while their friends are right next to them and are trying to start up a conversation. I understand wanting to always talk to the one that you love, but it’s practically part of the girl code that your friends come before your boyfriend.

When you display this kind of behavior, it’s just plain rude. My father always tells me, “it’s not what you say. It’s how you say it.” Your body language speaks volumes about how little or how much you care about a person you’re with. When you’d rather spend time on your phone than with someone you care about, you’re telling them that you’re uninterested in them and that you don’t care about them or their time.

Even if someone doesn’t say that they don’t like you being on your phone all the time, it doesn’t mean that they don’t think it. Most people aren’t exactly going to be first in line to call someone out right away, especially if it’s their best friend. If they’ve voiced that they want to talk to you and not just scroll in silence in the past and you still do it, there’s also a chance that they’ve just given up on you changing your bad habits.

Of course, it all really depends on the situation and who you’re with. According to the Network survey of 160 respondents, 71% of girls would agree with me on that statement. However, only 9% of Marian girls would say that they never go on their phone to avoid talking to people.

I’m not saying that you have to try and sit through a conversation that is awkward and uncomfortable for all parties involved. However, it might be a good idea to wait just a little bit longer and see if anyone wants to join the conversation before you get on your phone. Even better, why not try and spark a conversation or debate yourself? You’ll never know what conversation starters will stick until you try them.

It’s easy to read this and think that you’re not part of the problem, but you most likely are. According to U.S. Cellular, 63% of smartphone users say that others never get upset at them for being on their phone, but the same percentage say they always get upset at others. This disparity shows the double standard in phone etiquette. 

In ten years, you will have graduated college. You’ll have a full-time job. You may even be married, have kids, or have a house. You will remember all of the fun lunches and homeroom conversations you had with your best friends when you used to go to Marian. Do you think you will remember that one TikTok you scrolled past 30 minutes ago? I’ll give you a hint – you don’t even remember what it was now.

Our lives are short. Don’t waste them on social media or Candy Crush rip-offs when you could be with your friends. One day, you’re not going to be this close to them. Don’t lose the people around you now to corporations that only want to exploit your money and attention.