StaffEditorial

Apparently, it’s the time to bring back public shame, because it has been officially deemed “embarrassing” to have a boyfriend. An article, titled ‘It’s Embarrassing to Have a Boyfriend’, from British Vogue by Chantè Joseph, addressed a valid, but misinterpreted, problem: Your partner should be your complement, not your whole. Women should take steps to be their own person instead of adjusting their personality to fit the needs of a boyfriend or the possibility of one.

Some women today have an issue with making their partners their entire personality and online presence. Joseph explains that it becomes a problem as it pushes women who are ‘boyfriend-obsessed’ to get rid of their self-worth and focus on their partner rather than on themselves. This happens through posting primarily about their boyfriend or making their profile about their boyfriend.

The title of “boy-obsessed” comes from the choice to invest in one’s romantic relationship while pushing their friendships aside. They call their “situationships” when they had planned to spend time with their close friends. The pattern of girls forgetting their relationships for the possibility of romance proves detrimental as they lose getting to know themselves. 

Considering the content of the article, there has been a tremendous misunderstanding of its message. Some people read the headline and automatically default to believing that it is socially unacceptable to have a boyfriend. This can lead young women to assume Vogue is calling on all women to dump their partners. After a thorough read through of this article, we concluded that the author is not condemning relationships, but the glorification of male-centric personalities. 

The intense and ongoing obsession with the opinions of others is harmful. Women feel extra pressure to measure up to their significant other, and meet expectations that strangers put on them. Moreover, there is an issue with the constant obsession people have with other opinions. Women should not worry too much about what their boyfriends think but even more they should ignore what strangers think. People who didn’t read the article, just read the title and began to consider breaking up with their partners are just one example of the hundreds of people who are swayed by people’s opinions who don’t matter. 

There seems to be a double-standard online when it comes to posting your partner. When a man does it, he is praised for showing that he loves his girlfriend and for praising her publicly. When a woman does it, people are turned off and annoyed. This effect can be seen on influencers, who when they start posting their boyfriends, lose followers because others don’t want to see content about relationships.

Women are constantly being picked apart based on their perceived relationships, and often results in inflicted harm on their own worth and relationships. This scrutiny is almost constant, to the point in which it becomes part of their identity. Women are judged, belittled, and criticized simply by having a boyfriend. For this, they are either deemed weak or all their success is due to their relationships. So essentially, women cannot win. This is a completely immoral and inaccurate reflection of women and their choices. 

The biggest problem that comes out of these toxic relationships is the reversal of all the work women throughout history have done to avoid this. Women have fought tirelessly to be known as their own person and not be attached to a man. By allowing your opinions to be dictated by a man, you reverse the work feminists and women in general have fought decades for. Above losing followers or negative public perception, the biggest impact is feeding into the system that works against women. 

Finding yourself is incredibly difficult. It is so much more worthwhile to get to know yourself without aligning yourself with someone temporary. Girls should understand their self-worth and importance. At the end of the day, they do not need a boyfriend to dictate their beliefs.