Opinion by J1 Reporter Anna Nulty

The sound of the first stage of digestion makes me cringe. The sound of the mush that was once food invades my ears and echoes throughout the space between them. The tinny scrape of a fork against teeth sets me on edge. The smack of your gum causes me to stop in my tracks.
The simple solution to this problem is to chew with your mouth shut, but some ungodly force is keeping your lips from touching. I know you may be unaware of this affliction you have caused, but your actions are appalling, and frankly, I am distressed.

My feelings about loud chewing do not concern one specific person, but the community of loud chewers as a whole. Although I do not believe people realize that the volume of their chewing affects those around them, I think everyone should know their own jaws’ strength. Some may think I am a bit of a snob when I correct them in their table manners, but I believe that eating quietly is a common courtesy. While the crunch of a potato chip or a piece of celery is unavoidable, the slurp and slosh of yogurt or pudding is something I wish I could forget.

If you are one of the aforementioned perpetrators of this heinous crime, I hope I have opened your ears, and closed your mouth to the cringeworthy sounds of your kind.