Opinion Column By J1 Reporter Audrey Hertel
Cool. Cool can have different meanings to different people, but I know what cool is. You’re probably wondering what my definition of “cool” is. So here it is.
First, if someone is cool they have a good sense of style. This can be anywhere from Aeropostale graphic tees, Juicy Couture tracksuits, and vintage, high- waisted- one-of-a-kind-so-no-one-else-can-get-them-and-look- as-cool-as-you, jeans. Basically, just google “the coolest clothes ever,” and you’ll see what I mean.
Second, in order for someone to be cool they are Kylie Jenner. They live their life as a teen who is a member of the most famous family in America (next to the Obamas). If that’s not possible, they follow her on all social media outlets (@kyliejenner) and aspire to be like her. They get daily inspiration on lifestyle, makeup, and fashion from her app. (You can pay for her app as well. It’s $2.99 a month and available on the app store.) Kylie has the coolest nails, the coolest personality, and the coolest dogs. Norman is my favorite. He is so cute.
Third, in order for someone to be cool they need know every lyric of the most genius song of the 90’s: “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice. If they don’t know those words, maybe “cool” isn’t who they are. When singing along to the lyrics, they grab a hairbrush or television remote and use it as a microphone. Someone who is cool would really get into the lyrics and connect with the meaning behind them. (This is when they break out the Juicy Couture tracksuit and jam out. Yes, “jamming out” is cool in case you were wondering.)
I get it, you’re probably wondering, “Am I cool?” Well, if you read this article you know what cool is, so maybe, yeah.